I was on the phone with my best friend when I uttered this first gem to my 2 1/2 yr old son, and immediately thought…wow, I never thought I would say that out loud…I should write a book.  So instead, I will randomly add to this page all those wonderful things I never thought I would say.  Feel free to add your own, and check back to see what others have written whenever you need a laugh.  Enjoy.


“No, you can’t play with the microphone, remember, you put it in the cat poop?”


“How long has this cheese been in the living room?”


The following is a conversation I had with my 4 1/2 yr. old daughter.

“I want to save these boots incase we have a baby girl.”

“Well, I’m not sure we’re going to have any more babies…we may stop with just three.”

“What?  You have lots of eggs in you.  Not just three.  So we should have more babies.” (Talk to your Daddy about that one little girl!)

I’m usually woken in the morning by my almost 3yr old little boy telling me he has a poopy diaper.  So when this conversation started, I didn’t think much of it…but it slowly got worse.

“Mom, I have poops.”

My husband rolls over and responds, although I think he regretted it soon after “You have poops in your diaper?”

“No.  I pooped on the counter.”

“You pooped ON the counter?”

“Yeah.” And he runs out of the room.  And I’m willing to bet he didn’t wipe very well.  So hubby takes off after him and I hear:

“Bubba, don’t move.  How did you manage to poop in the sink?  Wait don’t step in it.  Ah, sit down.  Good job telling Daddy that you pooped.  Do we poop on the counter?”

“Yeah.   And in the sink!”

“No.  Where SHOULD your poop go?”

“In the potty.”

“Let’s do that next time.”